full dosage zoloft, update

N has been on the full prescribed Zoloft dosage, 24 mg. daily, one tablet in the morning, and we continue to see even more improvement. It's a real revelation to us, seeing his personality seem to actually change into the person he should have been, could have been, is, and perhaps can be. He is so much more easygoing. The prickly porcupine is showing up around here less and less frequently. A calls these animals "poking pines," but I digress.

Another observation: He and A play "baby" (house) quite a lot. He is playing police and bad guys/violent fantasy play much less. Not that it's vanished altogether, and in extreme moderation, I think it's okay for him, when he's thinking straight and his mood is normal. Particularly when he's with other boys, it's comes with the territory, no problem. But he's playing non-violent, non-emergency dramatic play probably, oh, seventy percent of the time, with A, maybe even more. Hmmmm . . . coincidence? I think not.

I believe the SSRI's are actually very, very good at reducing anxiety, and obviously, this was a big part of the problem--the fight/flight thing. And he's so happy! Man, that low serotonin is, apparently, a real bitch. Some study in Finland on murderers revealed that ALL the murderers they autopsied had low serotonin. Seems to play a big, big role in aggression.

Yesterday was a really good day, a trip to IKEA!! Normally, this is one of those I'd-rather-have-a-root-canal-with-no-anesthesia things with N and the other kids (because of him, not A and the baby). But it was actually not too bad. And last night we had a good laugh, all of us, over Drumstick ice cream cones, before the kids went to bed. He was laughing at himself a little, even, and able to let Matt be silly without freaking out and yelling at everyone and calling his father an idiot, a freak, or a jack---. He just laughed along. It was great.

Lying in bed, I said to Matt something along these lines: It's amazing the damage a mentally ill person, a brain-disordered person, whatever, a child who is dysfunctional, can do to a family. It's really tragic the way they can warp the family and take the fun out of everything. After a while, you think, why even bother to try having a good time? Just grit your teeth and try to keep everyone safe, try to keep him out of the psych unit this time.

I don't know how long it will last. But we are enjoying the ride, that's for sure. We all are.